Slept really well! 5.00 am wake up. Feeling as fresh as a daisy, having felt extremely exhausted throughout yesterday, for reasons unknown. Was praying a bit, wondering a bit. I believe I heard this from God: “Kenny, others make the assumption that healing would be the best thing for you.”
Well, that released a stream of life and hope, which I may try and blog about soon….but for now, almost an hour of thinking later on, it is a useful thought for anyone of us to to carry in to today: the danger of assuming we know what is best for somebody; somebody whose story, “hopes and fears,” God given dream and sense of Kingdom purpose are perhaps unknown to us or assumed and misunderstood by us as we look on, even with good will in our hearts towards them.
11.00 am: OK then. The early dew of morning is passing away towards noon. 5 am burst of energy giving way to more familiar physical realities. Two thoughts:
1: The contrast is very real. The “condition” I carry becomes so routine to me that I forget the strain it must be putting upon my body and mind. I need to treat myself with a measure of care. That is not self indulgent but is necessary. “Pummeling” myself may have good biblical backing and suits that part of me that is Presbyterian and austere and reflects that part of God’s being that is austere (though not necessarily Presbyterian}. However, even as I am aware of wonkiness returning, strangely enough that very return helps me to remember I am also fearfully and wonderfully made by a Creator God of delicacy, wonder, extravagant variety and unecessary detail and subtlety: an Artist. I need to treat myself as His workmanship, body as much as soul and spirit, with more tender appreciation, interest and attention.
2: The energy burst may be fading, but the truths realised at that moment are still shining bright and true! Glory all the way!