It is 5.00 a.m. I am wide awake, enjoying a delicious coffee. I am about to read the Bible and pray and just enjoy the Lord’s presence, having slept well. But, I am remembering the 15 years and more when I was awake at this time having not slept at all, and having tried every medication the doctors could prescribe: to zero effect in my case.
In these days I sometimes went 72 hours without sleep, sometimes a bit longer. For those 15+ years, I rarely slept for more than an hour or two each night. 2 hours felt like a tremendous gift for which I was genuinely grateful. At the same time it was not always helpful when well-meaning believers told me God gives to his beloved sleep! Nor was it helpful when people suggested it gave me time to pray…
Insomnia is awful. It is hellish, and yes, I really mean to use that word. I have no other word to use to describe it.
All I know is that victory came and I now get enough sleep most of the time, though there can be the odd spell where things are not so good for reasons I cannot usually see clearly or pin down.
Why share this? Well, I don’t really know. Maybe in an odd way I hope it will encourage those who are reading this at a time they wish they could just get an hour’s sleep…
I have no easy answers. But I am in a better place now….and that you will be in a better place is what I pray you can still believe for. Hang on in there.