I find it moves me that some are finding these blogs particularly helpful. I hope everyone who reads them gets some benefit from them, but it seems that the blog is a particularly safe place for those who like myself have been brought to an experience of weakness of one sort or another. Of those, some could tick an extra box as it were to say that church has not aways seemed like a safe place, either because their weakness/illness/non-healing in a bit of an inconvenience or an embarrassment, or because the church is heavy on demands of its membership which can make people with limitations of energy feel guilty and even useless.
One of the things I find at the moment is that though my illness is physical, it can affect mental energy levels as well. To concentrate for a long time is tiring. Sometimes that means that I can only take the bible in morsels, or pray for a small amount of time, certainly not as long as would pass muster with many teachers or churches heavy on the demand side.
I just want to say what I have observed: “Little is much when God is in it.” If you are facing weakness of body or mind or spirit at the moment please don’t put impossible demands on yourself or give undue attention to those who make suggestions to you about your spiritual life from a place of abounding health and energy. I say again, “Little is much when God is in it.”
I find that I can chew on a verse or 2 on days when I can’t concentrate for a chapter or 2. On days like that each verse seems to provide more than enough nourishment and living water.
So, a short blog today for those for whom reading a few verses seems to increase the guilt at not managing a fuller devotional life; lose the guilt. I think your heavenly Father is glad when you savour each precious morsel. Think of each word, follow the trails that seem to open up; come back to the verse; follow another trail that seems to open up. You can actually dine richly on one verse for longer than you thought possible. Maybe your weak times are helping you to discover a new life giving way of reading the Word of Life. Allow that to happen; don’t fight it. Don’t give in to the persistent beat of the background muzak of “accusations” and “oughts” and “shoulds.” It can be hard to ignore, but I hope you can find the wherewithal to refuse to dance to that rhythm.
Sometimes because of medication I have this strange recurring dream of eating! I wake up with my mouth moving as though I am really savouring something wonderful. In my dreams I chew and chew and taste, and notice texture and colour and sweetness etc. It is amazing how wonderful something that is not even there can taste! Usually it is cereal of some sort, but the other morning it was delicious non existent Strawberries I was tasting! However, I am talking about something in this blog that does exist and is really there: the Word of God. Learn to take time to taste and savour what you are managing to read and think about. Say goodbye to unnecessary guilt that somehow has caused you to believe your relationship with the Lord is based on a certain quota of the bible being read, religiously. Paul said his ministry to the Thessalonians was like that of a concerned and caring and gentle nursing mother and an encouraging Father wanting to encourage the best. In the tone of a caring parent I just want to say to you. “Try and eat something, even just a little thing today, little one!”
I say again, “Little is much when God is in it!”
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