Slept really well! 5.00 am wake up. Feeling as fresh as a daisy, having felt extremely exhausted throughout yesterday, for reasons unknown. Was praying a bit, wondering a bit. I believe I heard this from God: “Kenny, others make the assumption that healing would be the best thing for you.”
Well, that released a stream of life and hope, which I may try and blog about soon….but for now, almost an hour of thinking later on, it is a useful thought for anyone of us to to carry in to today: the danger of assuming we know what is best for somebody; somebody whose story, “hopes and fears,” God given dream and sense of Kingdom purpose are perhaps unknown to us or assumed and misunderstood by us as we look on, even with good will in our hearts towards them.
11.00 am: OK then. The early dew of morning is passing away towards noon. 5 am burst of energy giving way to more familiar physical realities. Two thoughts:
1: The contrast is very real. The “condition” I carry becomes so routine to me that I forget the strain it must be putting upon my body and mind. I need to treat myself with a measure of care. That is not self indulgent but is necessary. “Pummeling” myself may have good biblical backing and suits that part of me that is Presbyterian and austere and reflects that part of God’s being that is austere (though not necessarily Presbyterian}. However, even as I am aware of wonkiness returning, strangely enough that very return helps me to remember I am also fearfully and wonderfully made by a Creator God of delicacy, wonder, extravagant variety and unecessary detail and subtlety: an Artist. I need to treat myself as His workmanship, body as much as soul and spirit, with more tender appreciation, interest and attention.
2: The energy burst may be fading, but the truths realised at that moment are still shining bright and true! Glory all the way!
Kenny, so glad you had some good hours.
I never saw a daisy all fresh at 5am on a freezing, dark last morning of November… it was a miracle, your St Andrew’s day blessing!
I am picking up a bit after low dose chemo (standard for the chronic disease I fight) had to be stopped when white blood cell counts and a nasty virus I’d been resisting for a week suddenly got me. At least it has not become pneumonia, as often happens.
May you continue to receive blessings as you did today.
Sorry to hear of your struggles. May God bless you and help you day by day.
Chemo was yuck for me!
Nobody informed me that it is best to take the anti sickness meds at least one hour before taking my chemo torpedo capsules!
1st day after taking my standard medication and breakfast about 2 hours after the chemo, my stomach contents decide to part company with me!
This puts me in a panic and I phone the GP for advice and they inform me about the taking of the anti sickness meds an hour earlier!
It is now five years since I had chemo, although I did have a Radiotherapy period last year! It is in God’s hands how this will work out!
I pray that you will adapt to the medication, but even more I pray that our God;Father, Son and Holy Spirit will fill you with the healing grace to rid you of your current infirmity!
Dear Kenny and Morag,
I am glad you had a good sleep! As a bad sleeper myself, I can appreciate how an almost unbroken rest feels the next day.
I was wondering how you felt about this as a 31 day devotional? Beginning tomorrow (1st December 2017),taking Holy Communion with Morag at home?
I am going to do so and would like to pray for you and your family and mine and any other folks who come to mind.
You don’t have to include this message on your blog but could maybe do a blog yourself on your experience?
I think many people would be blessed by it.
I sincerely hope it’s a great blessing to you both (should you decide to embark on it).
May God’s grace and peace be upon you and the family,
I think this is a wonderful idea. Perhaps others will pick it up too!
Thanks so much.