About your violent outburst….

Your outburst of violence…

Someone living a shame filled life needs to hear this: It is not a “thus says the Lord” wordy thing, but it came to me in prayer. It may be for you.

Violence happens even in the most intimate of relationships, even relationships between Christians who deeply love one another. Often it is the violence of words. Sometimes it can become physical. There is someone, deeply ashamed, who needs to hear this: “You are not the only one.”

It is good to ask the question, “Why did I lash out?”

I guess there can be all sorts of answers to that. The one that seemed to present itself to me as I pursued my thinking was “loneliness.” Each of us are unique. Somewhere in Henri Nouwen’s writings he says that the flip side of this uniqueness is aloneness. That aloneness can only find its covering, or allow itself to be naked in the presence of the God who calls each unique person “Beloved.” In that place we can treasure and accept our own uniqueness and belovedness and begin to see the uniqueness and belovedness of others. In other words our aloneness has become transformed into fruitful solitude which leads to healthy relationships, intimacy and communion with others. We accept ourselves and others as is. We are able to receive as a gift what others can give rather than get angry at what they have not given us.

However aloneness can become loneliness, which then has the potential to become violent when others do not seem to give me the affirmation I need in order to feel secure and valued.

Bottom line: no one person can give us the depth of affirmation that only God can give.

Don’t let shame about your violence stop you coming into the presence of God. It is where you need to be: to hear the word “Beloved.” Be at rest there, or sooner or later the violence will erupt again.

This may help someone who reads it. It may help others to understand someone whose behaviour mystifies us now and then.

God bless



4 comments on “About your violent outburst….

  1. Shona Macleod says:

    Hi Kenny thank you for such a beautiful reflection comfort and word. does nt apply to me right now but did in the past and the potential is there in the future… I hope whoever it is for is able to receive the comfort.. Your blogs are a total blessing. May His Kingdom come more and more in your life and may you continue to be obedient to whatever you know you re meant to say.. Thank you every blessing to you and Morag


  2. Kim Ennis says:

    Communication communion with God our Father comes to mind .
    Communicating distress without intention of hurting is not violence but expressing hurt can be as violence to the violated.
    I see His world and people in it violated.
    I heard a woman express her distress but this was seen as verbal abuse .lt was not .There seems to be an ever increasing fear of genuine expression a wave or swing to silence and surpress distress
    I think maybe this does lead to violence and the futile aim of suppression is to avoid this.
    People need to express life. l see this in the markings on their skin , loss comes to mind.Loss of God , loss of their inheritance.Seeking damaged lives looking for the compassion of love.looking for the Father .
    Anger ,grief .
    Natural Transition of a burden to heavy to bear alone .
    I see Times and society are changing beyond our control.
    Acceptance that God hand is outstretched . His hand is upon us brings fear into perfect order.
    So l say there is a season for all things and this brings me His perspective.
    So shame pick up thy bed and walk.


  3. Angela says:

    This post speaks to me of latent aggression apparent when carefully protected ‘freedom’ is acting as a shield between someone and their personal pain; as you wrote, loneliness can be part of it.
    It is a false security and self reliance that does not belong or mesh with our God as a place of refuge.
    Whenever I have lost my temper, it haunted me. I cannot ignore it. It is human to fall short and human to feel shame but praise God that His grace raises us above our weaknesses when we admit them and ask for transformation to grow in us.
    Otherwise, why did Jesus die?


  4. Kim Ennis says:

    His word speaks to me that He did not come to bring peace.
    The enemy seeks out whom he desires
    Be clothed in the full armour of God.
    Including the helmet of salvation.
    This is very good news.Very good news.
    Thank you Jesus.


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