For some reason, I started to jot down my prayers a short while ago. I type or write as I pray. Here is one that I felt I wanted to share with you this morning. It is really for those of you who have a tendency to be harsh toward yourself. That is my tendency too. It is not altogether bad in that it stops you from shifting blame too easily on to others or even the devil, but it certainly has its crippling side as well. Anyway, here it is:
“…in the setting of all that is me a new life grows, planted by your grace Father. One day it will be separated from all weeds, but even now I yield to the gentle regime of the Gardener, intent on bringing me to fruitfulness. I trust you to weed today where weeding is urgently needed. I trust you to prune in the right way, in the right place, so that wounding that must happen may heal quickly and well.
Your gardening in me is so much kinder than my gardening style. I weed, prune, and do whatever with a measure of anger and frustration. You prune and clear the ground around me with loving intent and patient wisdom. I see a plant struggling and you see the same, but there we so often part. I look harshly on my struggling and withdraw kindness and hope in a way that I would never do towards any other planting save the planting of grace called Kenny, refusing to glance in my direction. You look and think how to feed me, help me, shield me, support me, cover me.
Father, my Gardener, give me your patience, hope and love towards this planting. May I live this day looking upon you and upon me, not with my own version of faith, but by the faith of the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me.
In His Name,