It is 5.00 a.m. I am wide awake, enjoying a delicious coffee. I am about to read the Bible and pray and just enjoy the Lord’s presence, having slept well. But, I am remembering the 15 years and more when I was awake at this time having not slept at all, and having tried every medication the doctors could prescribe: to zero effect in my case.
In these days I sometimes went 72 hours without sleep, sometimes a bit longer. For those 15+ years, I rarely slept for more than an hour or two each night. 2 hours felt like a tremendous gift for which I was genuinely grateful. At the same time it was not always helpful when well-meaning believers told me God gives to his beloved sleep! Nor was it helpful when people suggested it gave me time to pray…
Insomnia is awful. It is hellish, and yes, I really mean to use that word. I have no other word to use to describe it.
All I know is that victory came and I now get enough sleep most of the time, though there can be the odd spell where things are not so good for reasons I cannot usually see clearly or pin down.
Why share this? Well, I don’t really know. Maybe in an odd way I hope it will encourage those who are reading this at a time they wish they could just get an hour’s sleep…
I have no easy answers. But I am in a better place now….and that you will be in a better place is what I pray you can still believe for. Hang on in there.
So good to hear honest stories of struggle. Thank you.
Kenny, bless you.
Such honest descriptions are so encouraging when so many glibly speak words that carry no real concern or comfort.
My experience of severe ongoing health problems that limit all activitiesremains difficult even when agonising pain is subdued. Insomnia joined the side effects of ‘drug therapy’ that controls disease activity, but I’m thankful that it is not total… just let’s me get 4 hours sleep usually, followed by a sudden nine hours, perhaps two nights consecutively if I’m I sick eg after pneumonia.
I find a TED talk by Max Strom very useful as it teaches breathing (if lungs are good enough) that relaxes and usually sent me off quickly till this latest medication.
Should anyone wish to try it (good for dealing with anxiety and trauma too) https://youtu.be/4Lb5L-VEm34
Thank you for your honest remarks. I too know how it feels as I have restless legs syndrome. There have been times when I have been walking around in the room, falling asleep on my feet to be jerked awake again ☹️ One cannot think straight and prayer is just so hard. However I think that even just a “praise to you Lord, regardless” is a little victory.
I’ve taken up building balsa aircraft models and that needs little concentration. Sometimes I’ve even gone for long walks in the middle of the night.
Whilst we may not know the Lord’s plans we do have the confidence that He is in control 😊
Aw, Ian. Have you tried Ropinirole? I have Restless Leg Syndrome. I told the Lord it felt like torture! Ropinirole has helped me greatly. If I am late in taking it or forget, the old torturer comes back with ferocity.