Don’t give up hope that there can be freedom from that sin that has been part of you for so long. When it is evicted from the various parts of you it’s coils seemed to reside in, you may be shocked even frightened by how huge a monster it was. You will be surprised when it is gone that you do not weigh less physically! In Christ there is a victory that can yet be manifested in you.
When you have sincerely tried some of the excellent aids and helps to freedom on offer in the Christian scene, to no avail in your case, settle in the presence of Jesus and day, “Lord this has bothered me for decades. Please take it out of me.” In your waking and sleeping hours, He will answer that simple prayer. He is looking on you with great compassion and kindness, without condemnation, assured in His own triumph.
Do you know God can do mighty things as you sleep? That simple, humble prayer for deliverance from Leviathan.. He can do it even as you sleep. You have already made your will for His Will and victory clear to Him..
I have had a personal struggle myself, many years ago, and been married to a poor soul who became addicted to compulsive gambling on slot machines. The struggle is in desiring what God has already provided; the way of escape through Jesus whose victory over sin is also ours when we belong to Him.
Once we truly hate the sin or stronghold, and trust in Him to enable us to leave it behind, amazing things happen! Of course, the sin/habit/belief/stronghold has to be admitted, exposed to the light and not kept in a secret, dark place where it thrives.
Freedom is waiting!
Even over the last few days, asking the Lord to remove the need of what was an idol (unrecognised till a year ago, far too long), I woke yesterday with the realisation that it had gone! No sign of it. So true, Kenny, that even in sleep He works in us; there was a dream for me too, and before that also significant verses in regular devotionals and readings of my Bible.