I am learning a lot about spiritual life since I retired. I am also learning about depression. I have not sunk into that by God’s mercy, but I have skirted the edge of it now and then, and have dear friends who have to cope with that on a year in year out basis, who are incidentally, lovely, filled with the Spirit Christians, some of them engaged in powerful Christ honouring ministries; they have shared much wisdom with me in the last few months especially.

I believe that depression is an illness like any other and those who suffer from it should be regarded with the same compassion and love we would have for anyone in any other type of suffering – only perhaps more so, for it carries  stigma that is sometimes more cruel in the church than in the world. For me, part of the walking the edges of that has been that for reasons of physical lack of energy and health and capacity, I could not go back the way to what was; certain things are cut off from me now, whether permanently or otherwise I know not. The problem is that though I know I cannot go back the way in terms of life or ministry, I am not yet into the future, whatever that may be, and that can carry a certain amount of angst. A journey has started but I don’t know where it is going yet. I see now that many who go through a certain type of true depression are by no means weak: they are courageously trying to make a move on from the “past” forced or chosen, gladly or reluctantly; a past which may have been good or horrific, which held many good things or on the other hand harmful or destructive things. For all sorts of reasons continuing or returning to the past is not an option for them; it is not the answer…but they are not sure how to make the journey, or where they are going, but they are moving somewhere…it takes courage to make such an uncertain journey that you perhaps cannot see an end to.

You know probably that I am charismatic by scriptural conviction, belief and by experience – though not as much experience as would wish; but it has been real. I find that by dreams, God often confirms or highlights for my blessing themes that are there in Scripture. Putting together a few dreams I have had lately, I know God has confirmed for me that returning to previous ways of living or ministering are not His will for me. In these same dreams I have seen well meaning friends treating me with real honour and trying to help me get back into the same type of ministry I had, to bring that to life again, but not managing to do that successfully. However a theme that comes through time and time again is that this phase is meant by God and that at times I am fighting against that simple fact. He shows me in beautiful ways what the Scriptures promise about the people of God; His wings are over me and there is shelter there. In His hands there is not only shelter, but air to breathe and a safe place from which to see. This is not a shelter that smothers, but one in which there is light and air and vision as well as safety and rest and nourishment.

I guess I am just sharing that because some of you might have to accept where things are at this moment. Sometimes we are fearful of saying we accept something not pleasant in case it shows we have no faith for a change, and some well meaning believers will probably  barge in and say we must not accept such things and if we do we are cursing ourselves!  It doesn’t mean that at all; but you can find God there, for sure, even if it is not the place you would have chosen for yourself to find Him or the place you will be in for all time! We sing about God wrapping Himself in light, and that is a wonderful truth, but the bible also tells us that our God wraps Himself in “deep darkness.” Joyce Rupp says that there is a “holy darkness,” and I think she is right. There is a dark darkness which seems to be dominated by the enemy’s intention, but there is a “holy darkness” where God can seem to be absent in familiar ways, but He is there with some treasures He wants us to discover that perhaps we would have never come to know save through walking through this valley of holy darkness. Well-meaning and loved and lovely supportive friends tell me that my ministry is needed still – the extent to which they feel it is needed varies in scale from a parish to the whole world!!  Anything like that sounds too daunting as at this moment! I am grateful for their encouragement, but for the time being, I know this is a time for me to be consciously under His wings, and trying to accept with joy the goodness of His will, His presence and His blessing. My ministry is not as needed as my need for God in this place where I am beginning to find Him in a new way. I think there are beauties to be discovered here and perhaps shared one day. I have started to ask each morning that I might see the beauty of the Lord. Since I started asking that, something good seems to be rising up.

So, I am asking you, could it be that some of us are going into or through a holy darkness, when at first we thought it was a dark darkness? There is a joy and a hope that comes when we can truly say we think that is the journey we are on by the grace and help of God.

God Bless

Kenny

P.S. – You are very welcome to enjoy these blogs and share them with anyone “without money or price!” However, if you ever feel grateful for these blogs and are able to do so, then please make a donation to Open Doors, Scotland. Their website is

http://www.opendoorsuk.org/scotland

In case you have not heard of them, Open Doors works to help our persecuted brothers and sisters throughout the world.

​Just wondering if those Christian leaders in the USA who could not vote for Clinton – and in my opinion rightly so –  will not only speak up for the voiceless in the womb, but the victims of gun crime who cant speak for themselves because they are dead. Will they speak with courage for a properly and fairly financed health scheme for the poor?

This is not a taunt, but we can all be so selective in how far and to whom we extend our principles, including me. I can believe in the worth of a child and pass by a smelly homeless man or woman in the Princes Street in Edinburgh without concern and often with a hint of judgmentalism trying to make itself heard from somewhere, a part of me where there are a lot of things I don’t like about me that as yet have to be brought fully into the light of Jesus. Defending the unborn – again, rightly so –  and glorying in a personal gun collection numbering over 500, to think of one Christian leader seems strange. If we value human life let’s make sure we are as consistent with that as we can be – not just in the USA but here in the UK too…. anyway, just thinking…. 

…and while I am at it, to go off at a bit of a tangent, I feel like I need a spiritual and moral bath after this last few days of world goings on. So much slime, filth and brutality, so many clothes of thought draped upon Jesus.. I am  longing to hear the tone of the Jesus I read about in Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Oh yes, I know charismatic teachers are saying these days that now we can know not just that Jesus but the risen and glorified Jesus. They usually base it on an erroneous interpretation of Paul saying that he didn’t know Jesus after the flesh as once he did.  Usually such teaching is greeted with roars of approval and applause. But the glorified Jesus is the Jesus of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John…only more so. He has not changed in character, personality or tone. Thankfully, yet fearfully, He is wonderfully, perfectly consistent…”Lord Jesus, have mercy upon me and help me. ‘LORD SPEAK TO ME THAT I MAY SPEAK, IN LIVING ECHOES OF THY TONE…'”…” I haven’t got as much energy as once I had, due to health issues,  but if a leader, a book, a teacher, a conference, church or movement doesn’t have the smell, the sound, the fragrance and the tone of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, well, my limited energy can’t survive or thrive in that air. I am longing for the fragrance of Jesus…. tone, not just truth matters…

God bless

Kenny

P.S. I have no control over any adverts that may appear on my blog! K

The briefest of blogs today. Earlier today I opened up a message on my phone to read of a wonderful answer to prayer for someone that Morag and I and many others have been praying for, an answer which was described as  “nothing short of a miracle.” It concerned a little one whose life was at risk.

It made me think back to little ones over the years that have been prayed for with equal love, intensity and faith, for whom there was no miracle… and I had no answer. Even after Toronto, Bethel etc., I still can’t explain why miracles come and why they don’t… I have not heard any bible teacher or even those used regularly in healing whose teaching satisfies me on this one – so although you would mean it well, please don’t send me a link to someone teaching on this!! The saving grace is that at the point of extreme need, or even extreme disappointment and anger against God that one can encounter in pastoral situations, sensitive presence, kindness and compasion and an offer to pray are never out of place and more often than you might realise are appreciated more than asnwers. Suffering is not ground for excited, assured, cold or for that matter warm theological suggestion or speculation.

Friends, we all have to live with these mysteries and at times it is very hard to do just that. I am no longer a parish minister, but I particularly want to ask you to remember that your minister of pastor finds it just as hard to hold these mysteries. I found myself thinking  today how over the years I have stood at a lot of gravesides, too many in fact: babies, young children or adults killed in road accidents, those who perished in house or car fires, children murdered by their father; I thought too of precious human beings who died by suicide, some I knew old and young who had drowned, those who were the victims of violence or who lived for decades with the trauma of abuse, those who suffered from wasting diseases, those suffering the hell of addiction and mental illness or watching those they love “live” and die with such things. I am sure I could add to the list, but do you get the point? I could be very graphic about things I have seen or ministered into over the years. I have seen some things that I wish I had never had to see and will never forget. I could also go on and tell you about times I have been physically threatened and attacked by people and bitten by dogs during pastoral visits!! I experienced many of these situations within the first 10 years of ministry while I was still young. I knew no more than anyone else what to say. I had no pre-prepared answer, in fact I hate pre-prepared answers. I simply had  a sense of call, the same bible as you do, the same God to pray to and the promise of His presence and His grace as I went into situations in His Name: a presence that I occasionally felt, but more often  than not had to believe was with me by faith.

I think I want to ask you to remember what I have shared whenever you choose to speak to your pastor or minister or perhaps a chaplain in a health care situation. Think of what they may have had to carry that day or that week, the traumatic things that have multiplied in their experience and memories over the years. This very week they may have stood beside a tiny white coffin, or may have listend to a story of intense suffering that has been shared with no one but them. Remember too that they may be in a personal or family or financial struggle,  as well as carrying the pastoral situations they have been called into. Remember all of this when you are tempted to gossip or complain or criticise. Perhaps instead of doing that you should pay for your pastor to have a holiday. We have been blessed in that way several times over the years.  Perhaps you should encourage them to take a sabbatical – something I was encouraged to do but never did! I heard someone else say in jest the other day that other folk don’t get sabbaticals in their jobs…. true… but if you are tempted to sort of angrily agree with such a thought… well, I am glad you were never in my congregation…you just don’t understand.

I guess I am wondering why I am writing this today? Perhpas someone reading this was just about to give their pastor a mouthful of complaint or opinion, or to share details of a petty quarrel with someone in the church that as an adult you should just get over and seek to  make your own move towards reconciliation? Perhaps God wants you to pray right this very day for your pastor or minister. I really don’t know why I felt so strongly I had to write this today, but if you feel in any way that the cap fits…

God bless

Kenny

Some more  personal thoughts on waking today to America’s choice of President:

I totally understand why many  in many countries and in the USA itself will feel horrified, and many would have been equally/slightly-less/slightly-more/a-lot-less/a-lot-more-horrified if it had gone the other way… but I am not sure why this was so unexpected. There’s something in the air….not saying whether it is good or bad, I am personally unsure, but time will tell… but “there’s something in the air”….bigger than America… And while I am in song quoting mood, remember God is God: I am not saying peace peace where there is no peace, but am singing along with Bob Marley, “Don’t worry about a thing, everything’s going to be alright…”  (Don’t worry about me either – I am not a Rastafarian and never will be; someone my height would not get away with hair like that).

Whatever mixture of judgement and grace may being outworked at the moment or in days to come, ultimately it works out. God is God and there is no other. Remmeber the comfort and challenge that the God of Jeremiah 18 and the potter’s wheel is still true to Himself. Even if we are faithless to Him, He remains faithful to Himself for He cannot disown Himself or His promises as revealed in that true for all and for all time prophetic word. Final song: that thought brings me hope but “sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble. tremble…”

God Bless and God Bless America.

Kenny

Just looking at prophecies about who will win the election in the USA – some big names in that scene, some not so well known, some very bold, some speaking double-talk so they can’t be pinned down… well, we’ll see… they were wrong about year 2K, but no apology for getting it wrong was offered then, and that didn’t seem to bother folk who continued to support their ministries, buy their books, watch their T.V. shows and fund their lifestyles. Ah well, at least rice sellers made some business out of it…

If they are right, well it is hardly noteworthy since there are only two main candidates, but I guess we will hear about their correct “one out of two” choice, as satelite T.V digs out the clips…but if they are wrong this time round, will they admit they have got it wrong? Is it only the political scene that is corrupt and politicians that can be unaccountable? As a charismatic who blieves in Prophecy and has been on the receiving end of being powerfully and accurately ministered to prophetically, this type of thing worries me….Looks like the bulk of them think God by political persuasion is…well, watch the clips and you will soon see….

Jeremiah 23 comes to mind….. it would be more profitable to read that and tremble than to watch the prophecy videos. By the way, this is what it means to break the commandment against taking the Lord’s name in vain; attaching His Name to our thoughts and pronouncements…. it is serious. Lest you think this is anti- American, let me assure you it is not. Some of the godliest, loveliest most sincere and sanctified Christians I ever met are American, Republican and Democrat by genuine persuasion: working at their marriages, living out the bible, caring,  generous in the extreme, courteous to all and holy in a most beautiful way. I should also say that some of the humblest and most accurate prophets I have ever met come from the good old U.S of A, prophets who helped me stand in awe of God, or more accurately to lower my head  and weep in His holy presence; the same applies to Bible Teachers and Church leaders  from America who have blessed me greatly and continue so to do. I think about them often, and the very memory of them refreshes my soul.

By the way, any adverts that appear on my blog, don’t come from me….just in case you think I am luring you into gambling or even worse….! I want to scream at  the folk at WordPress, “Get them out of here” and “Shut up”  and “nasty” and “lock them up”,  which seem to be  current”in” phrases. I could get rid of them by paying something…but I am not only a Charismatic Christian but a Scottish Charismatic Christian, so sadly, the adverts stay, unless one of you wants to prophesy otherwise…

God bless…”and please God, bless America and the American Church.”

Kenny

I like blogging! It is sort of different from preaching. I don’t feel the need to defend my thoughts, dot all the “i’s” and cross all the “t’s.” I am quite happy to share things that I am trying to get hold of myself even if what I share leaves many questions unanswered. I am quite happy to live with that. I guess all of that is by way of defence of what follows:

Not long ago I listened to what is undoubtedly one of the most amazing musical compositions I have heard, “Cantata Memoria”, by Sir Karl Jenkins which remembers in an astonishingly moving way the disaster at Aberfan back in 1966. Along with many of you, I can remember the sense of horror that gripped us all when the dreadful news broke. The opening moments of Sir Karl’s work are an incredible painting in music of the lightness and carefreeness and playfulness that is meant to mark childhood combined with a sinister and foreboding sense of looming disaster. It is sheer genius. Later there is a disturbingly beautiful moment where the names of those who perished – so many of them children – are read out followed by the line, “Buried alive by the National Coal Board.” I am glad that simple truth is acknowledged in these few horrific words. Justice demands that fact should not be whitewashed. It almost was 50 years ago. It is so stark, so beautiful and yet so disturbing that I am not sure if I could listen to it again. That section may well have had more impact upon me even on one listening than any other music I know of. It is fittingly honouring to those it remembers, and yet it may prove to be a musical moment that I will listen to the least. If you can bear it, why not take a listen to the whole thing? I want to stress that the work ultimately ends with a moving from darkness to light, lest what I have said might make you think you don’t want to hear it! You can access it on line in various ways…

The next morning was Sunday Morning. Something happened that has not happened to me often over the years. The Lord put a name on my spirit: “Sophia.” When in the past I have experienced something similar, I know I have to be on the look out for someone by the given name. I went to church where there was a student minister, who incidentally preached a very good sermon indeed! He introduced himself and his wife and then his little baby daughter. Her name? Sophia.

I can’t tell you how I know what God was trying to show me, but I believe I do know. The name “Sophia” means “Wisdom” and somehow I knew that God was wanting me to think of what is said about Jesus as a child, namely that He grew “in wisdom, in stature, in favour with God and man.” I can’t prove this rigorously for the theologians among you – that doesn’t bother me at all –  but I do  know what God said to me was that His good and perfect will for childhood was not that it would be ended or cut short by Aberfan or by a thousand or more other heart-rending alternatives. He is a good God who cares for the sons and daughters of men and women. He wants children to grow in wisdom, in stature, in favour with God and people.

It is good to know that our God does not have only earthly time to work out that plan for childhood. Psalm 8 tells us that our God is the One “ whose glory above the heavens is chanted by the mouth of babes and infants…” Personally I believe the children of Aberfan continue to grow in the ways God intended and will continue to do so in even greater fullness when Christ comes again to bring fullness of salvation in every sense to spirit, soul and body. I believe right now they sing of God’s glory and over the last 50 years have become wiser than any who are reading this blog. That thought may be of particular comfort to some of you who have faced sadness beyond the norm that few have to face… if you are among such, may the God of all comfort, the God of all consolation, the God of all hope be with you, now and forever.

God bless

Kenny

P.S. – You are very welcome to enjoy these blogs and share them with anyone “without money or price!” However, if you ever feel grateful for these blogs and are able to do so, then please make a donation to Open Doors, Scotland. Their website is

http://www.opendoorsuk.org/scotland

In case you have not heard of them, Open Doors works to help our persecuted brothers and sisters throughout the world.

Went for a walk on a beautiful early evening on a quiet beach not long ago. As I looked across the sea I could see the Bass Rock: it brought back memories of my grandparents, parents, family holidays etc. I started to think of all the people down the centuries who had walked on the beach before me looking at the same view; perhaps they knew peace, perhaps they knew fear as their eyes searched the horizon for a boat which never returned. I looked up into the night sky and saw the constellations so clearly; I felt so small (no jokes from those who know me, please!)

I came home from that walk thinking about the generations past and to come, the vastness of everything, singing a hymn and an amended version of a chorus: The hymn: “The Lord is King life up your voice, O earth and all ye heavens rejoice…” The amended chorus, “I am ordinary and God has loved me and He gave the very best thing that He had to save me…”

I am saddened by the insistence in the modern church in trying to make everyone believe they are special which removes the delight and relief found in being ordinary and like everybody else. It results in an X factor church generation with Christ waiting in the wings while the stars take the stage. It is the essence of Phariseeism and a religious outlook: “I thank thee Lord that I am not like all other men.” It is the source of racism, genocide, terrorism and hostilities within and between churches. I shudder when I hear in recent weeks, “America is the only country in the world that is founded….etc.” I shudder when I hear an American preacher say that only 600,000 lives were lost in the world wars and wars of recent times: presumably American lives are more special than others: other lives lost apparently don’t count…well, that was what it sounded like, even if he didn’t mean it. Teachers and preachers will be judged more strictly because like the rudder of a ship, their words, their tongue, can have a huge influence in terms of the direction that an individual, a church or an even wider body of people decide to take.

Christian living and ministry comes from this joyful place: I am ordinary, I am like all other people and God has loved me…. so many people need to know the peace that comes from this.

We might have to wait a couple of decades for the pendulum to become more balanced again and the superhero, superstar outlook and teaching to bite the dust. I think revival is further away than it was in Scotland, if you know what I mean…so much is being made of men and women and methods…so little space for God…. and yet there is hope: maybe when things are wrong is just the time revival comes….

God Bless

Kenny

P.S. – You are very welcome to enjoy these blogs and share them with anyone “without money or price!” However, if you ever feel grateful for these blogs and are able to do so, then please make a donation to Open Doors, Scotland. Their website is

http://www.opendoorsuk.org/scotland

In case you have not heard of them, Open Doors works to help our persecuted brothers and sisters throughout the world.

At times over the last year or so, the bible has been a dry book to me; my prayers have been those of one who knows not how to pray; I would have been embarrassed if any of you could have heard their brevity and simplicity and feebleness. At such moments “beauty” has been a powerful peace-bringer through the Holy Spirit; a couple of days ago it was a tree in all its Autumnal glory that brought stillness and peace and a tangible sense of the nearness of God to me; not so far from “Consider the lillies,” I guess. I stopped short of speaking to the tree the way that Spurgeon used to speak to the flowers to find rest for his soul….. but then I’m not a Baptist, I am a Presbyterian, of sorts!

Remember, those of you who preach and who are called to pastor souls, or those of you who are seeking, perhaps right now, to help a friend or loved one, that what may seem reasonable advice or the most lenient of encouragements to spiritual activity or discipline, can seem like a huge demand to the hearer; way beyond reach, possibility or capability. Why not try the Jesus way; an invitation to consider something beautiful? His way works… so let’s let our words be few….

…and remember, laughter can be a powerful medicine too… skateboarding dogs and Kung-fu cats  on “Facebook” have blessed me more than many zealous Christian sites…more of that another time.

God Bless

Kenny

P.S. – You are very welcome to enjoy these blogs and share them with anyone “without money or price!” However, if you ever feel grateful for these blogs and are able to do so, then please make a donation to Open Doors, Scotland. Their website is

http://www.opendoorsuk.org/scotland

In case you have not heard of them, Open Doors works to help our persecuted brothers and sisters throughout the world.

​So James Dobson, if what Donald Trump has admitted doing is not considered sexual abuse what is? Or are you just using sophistry when you say he is not guilty; in other words he has not been found guilty in a court even though he has admitted “wrong” in a totally non regretful way? Sad beyond belief that an evangelical leader who cares about “The family” should inflict such pain on millions of women struggling to get free from the effects of sexual assault or abuse.  Why not break down in tears and invite the Evangelical constituency to seek the face of God to show America where His controversy is with the U.S? When democracy produces a choice between Clinton and Trump, then democracy has lost its marriage with goodness, indeed it has entered into a marriage with something insidious.  Poor, poor America….

Found myself reading Jeremiah today and thinking about the word “holy.” What does it mean to call God “Holy God”? Well, the word “holy” really means “separated.” God is separated from all other “gods.” They had to be fashioned out of wood or stone, covered with gold or silver, fixed to a base etc. The true God is holy, separated from all these gods by virtue of the fact that He is unmade and Living. All these other gods, so called, tended to be gods of specific places who aggressively defended limited territory , perhaps the mountains or the valleys, but God is “holy,” separate and distinct and different, because He is God of the mountains and of the valleys and can win His battles anywhere: everywhere is His territory, the earth and all its fullness belongs to Him as do the highest heavens. The other gods were dumb and could not speak to predict events long before they happen, but God is Holy, different, separate from these gods who know nothing, in that He makes His will known to His servants the prophets before it comes to pass. So God is holy, separate, distinct, set apart as different from all other gods in these ways as well as in a host of other ways, but perhaps I have said enough to illustrate the point.

However, as I was thinking these thoughts I was remembering the odd paradox that formed in my mind when reading Rowan Williams book, “Being Disciples.” I want to quote quite a lengthy extract from it. I have written for permission which has not yet come. Without quoting directly then, but rather mixing his thoughts in with my words, Rowan Williams writes about Jesus speaking of consecrating Himself in John’s Gospel, setting Himself apart, making Himself “holy” as His death approaches, indeed making Himself holy through that death. The paradox is that the God who separates Himself from all other gods, shows Himself holy in such ways as mentioned in the first paragraph of this blog, makes Himself different from them in this way too: He does not set Himself aloof and separate from human beings and their need, but comes right into the deepest of human need, vulnerability, weakness and sinfulness to live in it as one of us, to  carry it and touch it with divine mercy and love and help. The paradox is that God’s Holiness, being separate, is shown by Him not being separated from human beings. He comes close, dives right in to where help is needed, even when it is needed by those who have offended His ways and spurned Him.

That leads to this application: Christian holiness involves being in the world but not of it to be sure; part of living this out involves entering into its need in love and practical compassion, to do what we can do by the help of the Holy Spirit of the God who is near, whose Kingdom is at hand, not distant or all for a future time, not in some far away place, but here; here now, as well as coming.

I have more time now to read the Bible and pray and think than I once did, which I guess is a good thing – not that I make as much use of that time as I want to yet. In itself none of that would make me holy in the Jesus sense of that word. I enter into His holiness not through separation from people on some ascetic spiritual pursuit, though spiritual disciplines are most definitely needed. I miss the ready made bridges afforded to being a parish minister, but I guess this will be an exciting time too as I learn to make new bridges. Hold on to this paradox: holiness cannot be achieved in separation from people. Whatever can be achieved by separation it is not “holiness’ in the Jesus way. Well, I guess I am looking back over my day wondering if I have touched holiness today…how about you?

God Bless

Kenny

P.S. – You are very welcome to enjoy these blogs and share them with anyone “without money or price!” However, if you ever feel grateful for these blogs and are able to do so, then please make a donation to Open Doors, Scotland. Their website is

http://www.opendoorsuk.org/scotland

In case you have not heard of them, Open Doors works to help our persecuted brothers and sisters throughout the world.

Well, some thoughts that arose through reading Jeremiah today. This is what God says about His own daughter Israel/Judah; even if two of the most famous, effective and powerful intercessors in the history of people of God, Moses and Samuel were to join their voices in united prayer, God would not listen or change His mind concerning a coming judgement. Even if Jeremiah, one of the greatest prophets was to add his prayers to theirs so that 3 were agreeing in prayer, the prayer would not be heard or granted. This is a bit uncomfortable for those who pepper their prayers with “Lord Jesus, you have promised where 2 (or 3) of us agree on anything in prayer, we can have it!”

This is such a corrective to the present trend on a “how to” approach to everything to do with God and His Kingdom which brings a lot of disillusionment though promising so much; verses and promises from within the context of being honest about a relationship with God or its lack are turned into formulae; if we learn a certain formula or approach to some blessing, or repeat a certain verse of Scripture often enough, “Shazaam!” it will be done: indeed God must do it, He has to, He has promised, and He has to fulfil His promises, doesn’t He? The fact is that every “how to” whether it is to do with healing, prayer, mission, revival or whatever is subject ultimately to the will of God. So when two (or even three) ask for something, or agree on something in prayer, the question still remains; is what is being prayed for the will of God from hearts that seek His will to be done? If it is not, then we can agree all we want, claim by faith all we want, to no avail. God is not a puppet to the shouting and proclaiming or the activity of His people no matter how confident, loud, passionate or convinced the sound we make; it may be that such declared assurance is merely confidence in our own loudness or passion: an unquestioning slavery to our own conviction about the rightness of our convictions. We do seem to live in days where there is a lot of passion about being passionate resulting in “feel good” meetings with exaggerated claims but little true testimony as to the activity of God in these meetings beyond the occasional lengthening (or shortening!) of a leg – though I believe that happens at times, it is rather depressing that after all the moves of God and centres of renewal that have arisen since the 60’s this is still given such prominence so often in a meeting as a testimony to the God who heals…. while many who really need healed go away trying not to be disappointed…. or maybe I am just reeling from the tailoress in Rose Street a week ago announcing under her breath in a beautiful but concerned continental accent, lest others should hear what I already knew and have lived with without difficulty for 58 years, “three quarters of an inch difference in the legs…” I said equally quietly in a slow Scottish accent, “Yes, it’s ok. I know that…”

I had a dream not long ago about the hacking of my navigation system. For all that I am grateful for the insights of the charismatic movement into the bible, I am not so grateful for any school of theology or approach to church life or mission that seems to suggest that if we follow a “model” then we will get a desired result, as though relationship with God or seeking to know and to pray for His will is irrelevant. It is hard to be involved in present day Christian or Church talk without yielding to the relentless pressure that somehow we can control God to give us a desired result; systems become more important than relationship and can even replace that relationship. I am also grateful that I read in Jeremiah today about how to recalibrate the navigation system. “Stand at the crossroads and ask for the ancient paths…”

The ancient paths: whatever that may mean for you, for me it means remembering what I was taught at the beginning of my Christian life: the importance of prayer; the bible; meeting with God’s people every Sunday at least; valuing the insights of those who had followed Jesus more years than I had been alive; seeking to live out “the Jesus life” in relation to anyone I may meet under any circumstance in the course of any given day. I seem to remember a time when these simple things mattered, when Christianity and Church were about such things… but maybe it’s  just my medication….

God Bless

Kenny

P.S. – You are very welcome to enjoy these blogs and share them with anyone “without money or price!” However, if you ever feel grateful for these blogs and are able to do so, then please make a donation to Open Doors, Scotland. Their website is

http://www.opendoorsuk.org/scotland

In case you have not heard of them, Open Doors works to help our persecuted brothers and sisters throughout the world.

Really enjoyed being at the first “open to all” service of St Mungo’s, Livingston, yesterday. This has been a venture that has been prayed over and thought about for many years and the blessing of God was manifestly upon it.

Before I went to the service I had been praying for it. I found myself singing to myself, “ I will enter His gates with thanksgiving in my heart, I will enter his courts with praise.” Many of you will know that is a song that comes from the early heady days of Charismatic Renewal. It would be considered rather old fashioned now. As I thought about the song, I was thinking, “Surely we are not going to sing that this morning?” Well, we didn’t, but we did say it! We said it together through a corporate reading of part of Psalm 100 in good Episcopalian style!

Thanksgiving is a powerful thing. I have said that several times in the course of these blogs, but it is worth repeating: imagine if every Sunday when we crossed the church threshold we said an inward prayer, (or for that matter an outward exclamation for everyone to hear!) thanking God for the church we belong to, for the gathering of people that I am part of, for a place where God’s Name is praised, His Word preached, His cross honoured, and His compassion and love extended to all. I felt I was part of such a gathering yesterday, and as one who sits in the pews now on Sundays, I was immensely grateful. I have made the decision however to be grateful on the way in next time, rather than wait and see what happens before I decide whether I will be grateful or not!

I don’t know what may be happening in your life right now, but if it does not seem too insensitive to suggest this, is there something you can be thankful for? If you have read this blog then you could start with thanking God for eyes to see, a mind to understand, wealth enough to have a phone or a computer to view this on; many in the world are lacking one or more or all of these things. I don’t mean to instil any guilt when I say that, nor do I want to sound as though I am minimising any darkness you may be going through, and may have been going through long term. I just hope you may find thankfulness is a powerful thing, and the practice of thankfulness is a helpful one to develop.

God Bless

Kenny

P.S. – You are very welcome to enjoy these blogs and share them with anyone “without money or price!” However, if you ever feel grateful for these blogs and are able to do so, then please make a donation to Open Doors, Scotland. Their website is

http://www.opendoorsuk.org/scotland

In case you have not heard of them, Open Doors works to help our persecuted brothers and sisters throughout the world.

Dear blog readers

Please take a look at the web page of this much needed ministry. Pass on news of this to pastors and their spouses. I feel this is a God venture. Just click the word “WELCOME” below and it should take you to the site.

God bless

Kenny

http://www.espsministries.org/

OK, I will no doubt get over the mesmeric effect of the beautiful writing of Rowan Williams; but before I do, let me share more bread I found in his book, “Being Disciples,” (SPCK 2016).Please don’t dismiss these two short quotes from Chapter 3 of that book as mere tasty morsels that you can take or leave. This really is someone who loves Jesus Christ simply and humbly breaking the Bread of Life and offering it to you and to me in the context of thinking about the Lord’s Prayer: it is not caviar, some luxurious extra or mere indulgence. May it be more than your spiritual taste buds that are activated as you read and think…

“We start from need – where else can we start?” (Page 37)

“A willingness to forgive is clearly the mark of a humanity touched by God.” (Page 40)

I might explain these a bit in coming days, but I will let you do your own chewing first!

God Bless

Kenny

A long time ago now I made a decision that instead of preaching 3 point sermons as a matter of principle, I would try and make one point in each sermon. It is not an absolute rule, but more than not I stick to that approach. I guess part of the reason is I want people to really get what I am saying. I guess another part of the reasoning was I can make point 2 the following week, God willing!

I find at the moment that something similar has happened with my reading patterns as well. Normally I used to always read to the end of a Chapter, trying to digest the whole story or all the points. Since retiring though, I now find I have time to close a book when I have read to a point that has made an impact. There is no pressure to get to the end of the chapter. I can savour more, make sure I have fully grasped rather than half-grasped what the author is saying. The habit of skim reading has been difficult to break. It goes back to the late 70’s and early 80’s when I was a student, although it is a useful tool to hold on to, as not everything in the Christian book scene written merits savouring.

Well, I stopped at “impact point” today while reading a book I have previously mentioned, “Being Disciples; the essentials of Christian Life” (SPCK 2016) by Rowan Williams. I am making extremely slow progress with the book, not because it is especially difficult to read, but because there are so many impact points in every chapter. I confess it is the first book by Rowan Williams I have ever read and I hope it will not be the last. It has taken me a month to get through 3 short chapters; they are just so good! Buy it!! Read it again and again! Let me share the thoughts that left me shutting the book and thinking with a mixture of joy and longing earlier today: “… what the Church is fundamentally, and must show itself to be, is a place where time and space are given, where people are allowed the space to experience eternal love, a place where nothing needs to be left at the door and where people are made free to receive in a world that can seem to be demanding of them all the time…” (Page 33).  As well as joy and longing, I was moved by a slight sense of sadness as I read these words: is this what church seems like to those who attend regularly or to those who cross the threshold for the first tentative visit? Well, I am still wondering….

Give some time to wonder about this with me….

God Bless

Kenny

P.S. – You are very welcome to enjoy these blogs and share them with anyone “without money or price!” However, if you ever feel grateful for these blogs and are able to do so, then please make a donation to Open Doors, Scotland. Their website is

http://www.opendoorsuk.org/scotland

In case you have not heard of them, Open Doors works to help our persecuted brothers and sisters throughout the world.

Christianity is a paradox: it is the gospel for “Whosoever” and yet is full of what theologians tend to call “The Scandal of Particularity.” It asks us to believe that though there is one God and He is everywhere, He came to us in a particular man, Jesus of Nazareth, being born in a specific place and time.  It asks us to believe that there is salvation in no other name and in no other place than the life death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. That same scandal of particularity finds its way into discipleship as well. It is probably something we have all experienced but it was brought home to me in a very definite way just a few days ago. On that day I had conversations with a few people, all of which were blessed by God. However there was one conversation with one man where I knew God had come in a particular way that asked of me that I say and do something very simple and very specific. Why? Well, I could fill a few blogs with some inklings as to an answer to that and might well do. However first and foremost I was experiencing another manifestation of the scandal of particularity.  The Jesus who wants me to carry His love to all the world  wanted me to listen to that man and speak to him in a particular place about a particular thing. I did not speak a word of prophecy, I did not give a word of knowledge, I simply had a clear witness of the Holy Spirit to my spirit that God had drawn close in concern  about a human situation and there was something that should not be ignored or missed in the conversation that was happening.

I was thinking about all of that today as I read what is perhaps the best opening chapter on a book about “Discipleship” that I have ever read. It is called “Being Disciples” and is written by Rowan Williams, the former Archbishop of Canterbury. “Discipleship” is an “in” word at the moment in Christian circles, and thank God it is so, for it should always be an “in” word. However what refreshed me in reading the opening chapter of Rowan William’s book is that his description of discipleship begins with something that is there in the Gospels  but is more than often not there in  the present crop of books and courses about being disciples of Jesus. I cannot remember reading a book on this whole subject that begins where this book begins, namely by stating that the essence of discipleship is awareness. In the days when Jesus walked in flesh upon the earth, a disciple was not someone who primarily learned from books  or courses, but who learned from a teacher, a master, a rabbi. They would commit themselves not to a lecture hall and  note scribbling and exam passing  and course certificate relationship with their Master, but to a living relationship with him. They would simply hang about intentionally with him wherever he was and whatever he was doing, with an attitude of awareness that at any moment something new might break through into reality and life. For disciples of Jesus that primarily meant becoming aware of ways, encounters and conversations in which the Kingdom of Heaven was breaking into the world through their Rabbi Jesus in a particular moment, time or place. Sometimes they got it, at other times the moment of Kingdom reality seemed to pass them by and rather sheepishly they had to have their attention drawn back to what they had missed by their Master.

To put the same truth in more pictorial form, Rowan Williams says that being a disciple of Jesus is almost having the awareness and expectation of a birdwatcher: knowing you are in the sort of place a particular bird frequents but needing to be alert for that moment in which it actually appears. He mentions  in this respect a reference to a Kingfisher in a poem by T.S. Eliot. To me the sight of the flash of the blue of a Kingfisher is an almost mystical experience, it is so special. I frequently go on my electric bike to a place where I know a Kingfisher either lives or visits. I do so with an awareness that all of a sudden I might see that amazing blue streak, or I may not: I can be alert to it happening, be excited in anticipation of it, enjoy the moment when it comes, but I cannot make it happen.

This makes Christian Discipleship incredibly exciting; it makes for a rather unpredictable day and life, it carries a sense of discovery and adventure. It is not a Mystery religion open only to some, but there is the excitement of a Mystery Tour about the whole thing.  Of course we know from our Master there are things we should always be doing which require  obedience, not further guidance,  but I so love it when I see the Kingdom of God flash of Kingfisher blue,  a breeze or a wind disturbing the stillness, or a holy stillness disturbing noise and turmoil, the touch of the butterfly wing, the sudden sense that I am standing near a fire; the fire of God’s presence and activity.  As we are simply with Jesus and He is with us, as we hang around together listening to and receiving His Word, learning from Him about being in the world but not of it as citizens of another Kingdom, we do so with an intentional awareness , alertness, and expectation that God’s Kingdom activity may break in at any moment. We need to learn to recognise that moment, be sensitive to it and go with it when it comes.

I referred to a particular conversation with someone in the opening paragraph of this blog. I had no idea the conversation would come about but, as I try and always do, stayed open to the scandal of particularity. I had no sense of the approach of God; it just happened. I have no idea as to how that conversation will influence circumstances in the future but I believe things will be different because that moment occurred.

At the core of its essence,  Discipleship must be a simple commitment, to live each day consciously with Jesus Christ as my “more than a master”  Master, with  a non-neurotic, gentle and trusting prayer that He would teach me not to miss what His voice is saying, His hands are doing or where His feet are going. I feel split in my approval of the often quoted notion of Jesus having no hands but our hands to do his work today etc. I know what is meant and there is a truth in it, but with the greatest respect I have always felt that it puts the cart before the horse or something like that! The Master is always ahead of the disciples calling them to go where His voice is speaking, His hands are working and to follow His footsteps to where He is; being near His presence in an attitude of learning, listening, sharing His joy at the surprising breakthrough of the Kingdom is what discipleship is really about.

God bless,

Kenny

P.S. – You are very welcome to enjoy these blogs and share them with anyone “without money or price!” However, if you ever feel grateful for these blogs and are able to do so, then please make a donation to Open Doors, Scotland. Their website is

http://www.opendoorsuk.org/scotland

In case you have not heard of them, Open Doors works to help our persecuted brothers and sisters throughout the world.

A Dove in Eagle’s Clothing

There are things that move in this house
their presence rippling below every surface,
But is it the movement of the snake or the dove,
does it come from below, is it born from above?

Some things rise in the darkness of day or of night
a draw, a lure, a longing, a searching…
Yet the finding gives but melting crumbling taste
touching and turning reveals no diamond, but the glint of paste.

But sometimes Fire stirs, fanned by Holy Wings
kindling speech or silence, inviting me in or sending me out,
Then effort, seeking, finding produces a joyful sigh
“At last” the Snake flees, from the Hunter in the skies.

Stinging, biting, slithering things fear The Dove, it is not the other way
for in the land where The Lamb is a lion, The Dove is an eagle,
Armed with swooping speed, sharpened talons, keenest vision
Deadly to Death, Destroyer of Destruction.

Feeding her chicks on the kill of every fearful thing
their eyes begin to open, their wings ready themselves to fly,
Wisdom hovers to unsettle the safe confining nest
knowing that in fresh free air, wings beat best.

Copyright, Kenny Borthwick

God bless

Kenny

P.S. – You are very welcome to enjoy these blogs and share them with anyone “without money or price!” However, if you ever feel grateful for these blogs and are able to do so, then please make a donation to Open Doors, Scotland. Their website is

http://www.opendoorsuk.org/scotland

In case you have not heard of them, Open Doors works to help our persecuted brothers and sisters throughout the world.

God Bless

Kenny

OK then: Day 1 of my retirement. Decided to hit the high life and splash out; bought and read “The Guardian” instead of The  “I”  and put on some new aftershave. Anyone would think I had sold out to the Prosperity Gospel!

Have decided to do what I have said I might do: take a few days off blogging.. It will help put to death any “success” driven remnants in my mind-set that feels peaceful when viewing figures are good and nervous if they fall.

….HOWEVER, though I may cut back on my expensive reading habits, though amounts of aftershave might be cut back as well,  though the blogs may not be as frequent, there is one thing I don’t want to cut back on: the mystical side of being a believer!! So here is a genuine question. Some of you will just think this is mad: if you do, well that’s fine. For those of you who love this sort of thing, what do you think may be the spriitual significance of the number sequence 1234? I am not going to tell you why I need to know, I just do.

Will look forward to hearing any weird and wonderful suggestions.

God bless from fragrant Kenny

I have been mulling over the story of Job in the Old Testament, yet again. I have more time for mulling these days! One of the lessons of that story, surely, is that we can so misread a situation and yet be very sure we are reading it right. I remember when I had a fresh experience of God in the mid 90’s. A friend was sure that the blessing in ministry that came from that day and has continued to this day could not be good fruit because he was convinced  that I had been deceived and the blessing I had experienced was not in fact from God. In the following years, I continued to be apparently blessed whereas his health went from bad to worse. He actually wrote a story about a minister who departed from God  through a counterfeit spiritual experience and was apparently blessed and a minister who remained faithful to God but suffered. Can that happen? Of course it can. Was it happening then? I humbly don’t think so. I think my friend read my situation wrongly and incidentally never showed any awareness that the greatest years of manifest blessing were the years of my biggest difficulties in ministry as well. However I found myself thinking today about what he would make of what has happened to me now? Would he afford me the same positive verdict  he gave to himself, namely that I am suffering illness despite remaining faithful to God, or would he see it as vindication of his earlier view and a sign of divine  displeasure catching up with me at last; that my illness and really retirement  is the judgement of God resulting in me being deprived, whether for a time or for good, of my spoken ministry? Would he see me as an example of what Paul says is possible, something that Paul feared: that having preached to others, a preacher can disqualified from the race? I am not sure.

We can look at something that someone is going through and think we have got the inside view of God on it all and for that view we can probably find Scriptural backing; we could probably find Scriptural backing for a diametrically opposite view as well!  Paul said to “Judge nothing before the appointed time.” It’s great advice; indeed it is stronger than advice! Only God knows our motivations as well as  the secrets of our hearts; one day all will be revealed. That is both comforting and quite a fearful thought at the same time. The good thing is that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Are you someone who is too quick to presume you know what God is doing in your life and why he is doing it,  or to make the same presumption about what is happening to someone else? One of the lessons in Job is that human beings are notoriously bad at making such a call, whether it is about our own situation or the situation of another, so let’s not do it. Let’s not lay a verdict about someone’s inner state on their shoulders  or accept a verdict that someone lays upon ours as always being a true reading of a matter. Having come to the end of Job, I am as confused by it as ever in many ways, but I am pretty sure that what I am blogging about here is one of its truths and one of its applications.

God Bless

Kenny

P.S. – You are very welcome to enjoy these blogs and share them with anyone “without money or price!” However, if you ever feel grateful for these blogs and are able to do so, then please make a donation to Open Doors, Scotland. Their website is

http://www.opendoorsuk.org/scotland

In case you have not heard of them, Open Doors works to help our persecuted brothers and sisters throughout the world.

I was going to take a week off blogging and probably will take some days off in the very near future to “celebrate” retirment, but life giving thoughts are worth sharing as they come along! I was finishing off reading Job today. I am not sure I have particularly noticed this before, but only 3 of Job’s so called comforters receive any attention from God, while the contribution of the 4th, Elihu, is completely ignored by God. I am not sure why. Perhaps though we need to take a lesson from God Himself. There are some things that are said in the name of God or about God that we should not even dignify with a conversation. If there is a slight difference in emphasis between what Elihu says as compared with Job’s other 3 friends and Job himself, it seems to be that he is intent on defending God while the emphasis of the others is perhaps slightly more  toward accusing Job of secret sin as being the source of his suffering, or as Job did, accusing God.  Maybe that’s a second lesson: we don’t need to defend God any more than we need to dignify madness. There were times where Jesus was just silent. He himself told us that at times it would be as foolish to speak as it would be to throw pearls to pigs who woud just trample them underfoot. Oh to learn when we should hold our tongue which it seems was the major lesson that Job himself learned.

Practical application? Is there a ding dong battle you have going on with someone who you feel has spoken wrongly about God that it is time to drop? Of course there are times to speak up, indeed times when it would be cowardice not to: but remember God can take care of Hs own honour. He doesn’t always step in to clear His name here and now and you and I don’t always or with everyone need to do so either. A day is coming when He will clear His own Name completely and beyond a shadow of a doubt. All will declare that He has always been right in all His ways, in His kindness and in His severity, in saving grace  and in His judgements, that He is indeed “a God of faithfulness without injustice: good and upright is He.” He can bear witness to His own self, to His own righteousness  by sign and wonder, by mercy or judgment, by speaking through hurricane or by a silence full of His presence and His word, or by a silence which is final and voiceless.   God is not a debate or an argument that we must always win. Let’s not irreverently reduce Him to that in misplaced zeal.

God Bless

Kenny

P.S. – You are very welcome to enjoy these blogs and share them with anyone “without money or price!” However, if you ever feel grateful for these blogs and are able to do so, then please make a donation to Open Doors, Scotland. Their website is

http://www.opendoorsuk.org/scotland

In case you have not heard of them, Open Doors works to help our persecuted brothers and sisters throughout the world.

Well, H.T. put on a wonderful “leaving bash” for Morag and myself last night. It was humorous, warm, moving and generous in every possible sense of that word. On special occasions my late Father tended to write poems which he insisted on reading! We all groaned but secretly loved them. Well, I guess it’s in my blood and it seems to be in my daughter’s blood too! So, here is a poem I wrote to read last night. I was thinking of what I would want to tell my successor as Parish Minister, or as I liked to remind folk from time to time when everyone  was needing kept in order, “Senior Minister,” which bascially means, “The Auld Yin!”

I couldn’t have had  a happier evening to mark 11  very fulfilling years. I hope the poem reflects in a tiny even though inadequate way, something of why that has been such a  happy and fulfilling time. Anyway, here it is:

A note from your Predecessor

My dear fellow Minister, my chosen successor
Worry not “What would Kenny think?” I’m not your assessor!
But just a few words, I hope you don’t mind
To tell of some things you will most surely find
In what is called by most, “H.T.”
This aptly named place, “Holy Trinity.”

You’ll find the Love of the Father, the Grace of the Son
The Holy Spirit helping all to be one
A sense of guilt may soon creep in;
“Should I feel so happy, or is it a sin
to enjoy being a minister every new day,
to those whom God brings across my way?”

You’ll find pearls of great price, blood-bought ones of Christ
Drawn from darkness into marvellous light;
Warmth mixed with kindness, true joy and smiles
Shining through wounds that eclipse yours by miles;
They’ll help you to see the true Face of God
And hug you right in to Love’s truest fold.

You’ll find salve for your woundedness, rest time for tiredness
God helping you know the meaning of wellness
You’ll find space to grow and more fully discover
The God who  saw you before your mother
You’ll find truest you, you’ve had no chance to know
As preaching and pastoring to new places go.

You’ll find laughter and loyalty, shed tears at lost dignity
Pains will be shared that will cause you dismay
As you raise empty hands praying, “What can I bring?”
You’ll hear a reply, “ Without me, not one thing!   
Go, ask, seek and knock at heaven’s near door
Know your emptiness filled, hear the promise of “more.”

You’ll find old souls of faithfulness, their faith filled with youthfulness
Battling through storms and taking their places
Be amazed as you hear what they may not tell
Of how they were saved and have served long and well
You’ll think to yourself as you’re blessed by their eyes
“Such bright glowing embers…unquenchable fires…”

There are young saints emerging, so say things encouraging
(Not their heads, but your tongue, may sometimes need biting!)
God’s love’s been long-suffering to you and to me
With no patience in heaven where would we be?
Praise each movement Godward in young lives begun
May it not be unseen, let it not go unsung.

You’ll meet mighty prayer warriors, and find gifted leaders
Hearers and doers and  generous givers
Folk your superior in all sorts of ways
Who serve to God’s glory and lighten your days
“One Man Band” times now are over and past
Part of the body, you’ll feel freed at last.

You’ll sense yourself often on holiest ground
As Yahweh draws near upon worship’s sound
You’ll meet God in weak places, He’s more where there’s less
In the soil of lack, His Kingdom grows best
You’ll see Jesus kneeling to wash soiled feet
In cafe, in sanctuary and on the street.

Not everyone will clap at all that you do
But they’ll scratch out eyes when ill’s spoken of you
They’ll tell only about the blessing you’re bringing
They’ll  speak of you well, your ears will be burning
So,God bless you my fortunate Friend of the King
A chapter is ending, let the next one begin!

Kenny Borthwick

P.S. – You are very welcome to enjoy these blogs and share them with anyone “without money or price!” However, if you ever feel grateful for these blogs and are able to do so, then please make a donation to Open Doors, Scotland. Their website is

http://www.opendoorsuk.org/scotland

In case you have not heard of them, Open Doors works to help our persecuted brothers and sisters throughout the world.

Thinking again of my leaving weekend. A couple of “leaving speeches” came to mind that I hope will give you a laugh today.

Story 1: I have been part of the most wonderful Ministry Team in Holy Trinity. I know that Wednesdays for a long time will be associated with memories of “Team Meetings” and the laughter, the decision making, the breakfasting together and praying together that went on there. These were times of warmth, genuine friendship and encouragement.

Teams are not always so harmonious! There was an assistant minister leaving a church where his relationship with the senior minister had been rocky:  The senior minister spoke first at the “Farewell Gathering,” selecting words from John 10 verse 15: “The hireling fleeth, because he is an hireling…”  However, the assistant had also done what all ministers do from time to time but are not supposed to do: he had searched his concordance to find a verse he could select some words from to hang his thoughts upon, and he found one! He took some words from Genesis chapter 22 verse 5: “Abide ye here with the ass. I … will go  yonder…”

Well, I am glad to say  the congregation of Holy Trinity is being left in the most wonderful hands, indeed in the hands of folk who are my superior in so many ways in terms of gifting and ability.

Story 2: A minister was saying farewell to the Presbytery of Edinburgh a few years ago. He was a truly dignified man who was hugely respected by many, and rightly so. In his speech  to us all, he referred to a celebratory evening in the pub with some of his friends. A member of his congregation had come up to him the following day and said, “Minister, I was sorry to see you leave the pub at quarter to eleven last night.” The minister replied to him, “Yes, I was sorry too, but you have to leave sometime!”

Oh for words to dumbfound the religious!

God Bless

Kenny

Just a short blog as my focus is on this coming weekend!

I’ve been reading in Proverbs today in the N.L.T. I began at Chapter 21 verse 1 and only managed to read 3 verses. That was a solid enough meal.

I love that the bible is so politically incorrect, that our God is so politically incorrect! 3 things to think about:

1 – He does not regard our freedom of choice as sacrosanct: “The king’s heart is like a stream of water directed by the Lord; He guides it wherever He pleases.” (Proverbs 21 verse 1.)

2 – He looks for something more than people doing what they feel  and think is right: “People may be right in their own eyes, but the Lord examines their heart” (Proverbs 21 verse 2.)

3 – He is not impressed by any religious observance so long as it is sincere: “The Lord is more pleased when we do what is right and just than when we offer Him sacrifices.” (Proverbs 21 verse 3.)

Who does He think He is? God, I guess.

God Bless

Kenny

P.S. – You are very welcome to enjoy these blogs and share them with anyone “without money or price!” However, if you ever feel grateful for these blogs and are able to do so, then please make a donation to Open Doors, Scotland. Their website is

http://www.opendoorsuk.org/scotland

In case you have not heard of them, Open Doors works to help our persecuted brothers and sisters throughout the world.

My blogs lately have been a bit nostalgic. I am glad to say I am not in my dotage yet nor (God save me and you from it)  in my anecdotage! I believe in a God who always offers a future and a hope at every stage of life and beyond. It is best, as a rule,  to be onward looking. However inevitably as I face my last weekend as minister of Holy Trinity, I have been looking back over my time there and right back to when my ministry began in Linlithgow in 1982 and even back further than that to 37 years ago, 1979, the year in which I did my first church placement as a student as part of my training with the Church of Scotland.

As I have looked back I have laughed and smiled a lot ( see yesterday’s blog, “Looking back and laughing.”) but I also find myself doing some pondering. This is what I have been thinking today: at times,  whatever we see as our ministry, can get in the way of what matters most; it can get in the way of intimacy with God without which the proper balance, the proper  shape of life with all its varying  God gifted enriching elements  seems to elude us. It can become more important than the more or most important things. Praise God if you have never fallen over that cliff. By the 90’s I realised I had stepped over that cliff edge somehow, probably a long time before I was consciously aware of doing so. Though others may have seen signs of that for some time, they would have had a hard job convincing me of what I eventually came to see. If you think you may have done the same, then let me tell you the words of a very simple song,  which came winging its way to me over the years today.  It brought me the blessing of God in the  season when God rescued me and brought me back to my first call, simply to be a child of God by the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. Everything flows from there….

“I sing a simple song of love
to my Saviour, to my Jesus,
I’m grateful for the things you’ve done
my loving Saviour, precious Jesus,
My heart is glad that you’ve called me your own,
There’s no place I’d rather be
than in your arms of love
than in your arms of love,
Holding  me still, holding me near
in your arms of love.”

(Craig Musseau, © 1991 Mercy/Vineyard Publishing)

God Bless

Kenny

P.S. – You are very welcome to enjoy these blogs and share them with anyone “without money or price!” However, if you ever feel grateful for these blogs and are able to do so, then please make a donation to Open Doors, Scotland. Their website is

http://www.opendoorsuk.org/scotland

In case you have not heard of them, Open Doors works to help our persecuted brothers and sisters throughout the world.

Well, I am already thinking towards the couple of times I will speak this weekend if God wills, that will mark not only the end of my time as minister of Holy Trinity in Wester Hailes, but also my official early retirement from full time parish ministry as it is commonly understood in the Church of Scotland. To be honest, that is drawing the focus of my attention rather than the blog and probably will for a few days. However I find myself looking back over 34 years and laughing a lot at some precious moments: Let me share them with you. If you like blogs to be serious, well best not read on.

Best comment made to me after a sermon: “Utter madness!”

Best question before a baptism: “Do you mind if I take the vows and don’t mean them?”

Most inappropriate song at a funeral: “Lay your head upon my pillow, place your warm and tender body close to mine…”

Most schoolboy laughter inducing moment at Presbytery: “Moderator, I don’t think it’s wise for me to press my motion too hard.”

Most welcoming comment from a Session Clerk to a newcomer: “Clear off! We don’t want the likes of you here.”

Best imitation of me reading the intimations, by a  would be 3 year old minister, said while she was standing on a box with her family listening attentively in rows in front of her: “The evil service will be after I’m in bed.”

The kid I most wanted to strangle at  a time when I was trying to encourage charismatic worship: Me; “Why do we raise our hands in worship?” That blasted kid; “Is it to show off?”

Best vision statement of a person applying for a church job while being interviewed by me over lunch in a hotel: “Well Kenny,  I think in these days God is turning the farts of the hathers towards the children.”

Quickest response to a question intended to catch me out: “Minister, you said in your sermon you like whisky. Does the bible not warn against strong drink?  Me;“Yes it does.” The trap is set: “Is whisky not a strong drink? “ My escape; “Not to me it isn’t!”

Best quote from a fellow minister when he realised we were watching him eating his 4th. chocolate pudding at an in service training event: “Yes, I do hide my asceticism rather well.”

Best contribution in Cafe Church: “I know about Easter. There were a few hundred people and one shouted out, ‘I’m Jesus!’ Then another  person in the crowd shouted out. ‘I’m Jesus!’ Then another shouted out, ‘I’m Jesus!’ They just went ahead and  killed them all!” “No,” said another at the table, “that wasn’t Jesus. That was Spartacus.”

Most withering comment and most “I wish the ground would open up and swallow me” moment: while walking  as a school chaplain into a 3rd year class for the first time: “I didn’t know E.T. carried a brief case!”

Most difficult “keep a straight face on a serious occasion” moment; asked by an elder just before communion: “Minister, when do you want us to bring in the linaments?“

Most unusual re-telling of the story of Jesus by a 5 year old:“Jesus was good but they killed Him.” “That’s right,” I said encouragingly. “Do you know how they killed him?” “Yes, they pushed him off the Empire State Building.“

Best interruption of preaching in an old people’s home; “Oh for goodness sake, come on, come on! I’ve got to get a bus!”

The loudest comment made about me in a quiet room: “My, what a small man!”

Phrase I wish I had heard more often: “Minister, I think we will have to cancel the service because of the weather.”

Most repeated and recurring and deflating and hope and joy killing  moment: “Minister you have done so much to help me. I want to give you this gift of money…. put it towards whatever work in the church you want it to go to!”

Comment I should have resisted but didn’t;  spoken to a millionaire who said very grandly he wanted to give some money to the church and made a great show of handing over £10: “Thank you so much, even small amounts are appreciated.”

Most awkward moment with an organist who was unquestionably sabotaging the service: Me; “It was this tune I was wanting for that hymn, please.” The reply said in a “Now I will watch the minister squirm” tone: “That’s the one I was playing.”

Remember, laughter is good medicine.

God Bless

Kenny

P.S. – You are very welcome to enjoy these blogs and share them with anyone “without money or price!” However, if you ever feel grateful for these blogs and are able to do so, then please make a donation to Open Doors, Scotland. Their website is

http://www.opendoorsuk.org/scotland

In case you have not heard of them, Open Doors works to help our persecuted brothers and sisters throughout the world.

For me, there are some very simple guidelines  to work out whether or not the Holy Spirit really has shown me something or spoken to me through some other means than the Bible – which is, of course, all God-breathed. Number 1 rule is does it tally with what the Bible says? If it does not, then for me there is no other option but to dismiss it. We do not know God simply by what seems right to us or to our intellect or what seems right or wrong according to the culture we are part of in any given place or time, but by revelation. God has revealed Himself in his Word and supremely and finally through His Son, Jesus Christ: so when I hear someone say, “God has told me that…” followed by something  that I know is contradictory to Scripture then I feel at leave to draw that to their attention; although it is never easy to challenge someone who is saying to you almost in defiance of allowing you any opinion, “The Lord told me,” or one of its equivalents! We are sadly faced with a divorce in the church at the moment. Increasingly there are those who have been brought into the Kingdom of God who right from the start have an openness to things charismatic that was not common going back 40 years in UK church life,  but often there is little Bible awareness by which to test what is truly of the Lord. However such things must be tested. (By the way, again, I won’t enter into debate via my blogs with those who think things charismatic died out with the early church. Am I too, therefore, guilty of saying, “The Lord told me” and allowing no alternative opinion? NO! I am simply saying what the Word teaches beyond any shadow of a doubt, not something the Spirit revealed to me separate from the Word! I cannot debate the Word. To do so is irreverent to the point of blasphemy in my eyes. It may be right for some to debate such things but for me it would be sin.)

Well, I love it when Word and Spirit come together in obvious ways to bear witness to a truth. Let me give you an example: last night I had a dream which I believed was given to me by the Holy Spirit. There are certain signs and symbols which have become part of my dream language. It would take me too long to explain why certain occurrences in dreams are symbols of something else to me, and it would go beyond the purpose of this blog which is to encourage you to look for Spirit and Word confirming one another. In my dream, I was speaking to a dentist: for me, that represents learning about wisdom and is usually a bit of a warning when I am in danger of losing some wisdom on a matter. The dentist  was explaining to me that I needed an operation to my ears in order that certain things could drain away so that I could hear what I was meant to hear more clearly.

I knew that was a relevant dream. One of the battles of this last year has been to let go of misbeliefs about my worth or my usefulness or lack of it because of having to give up parish ministry. It has been easy at times for words like “useless” or “failure” to gain my hearing  and attention and at times to sound convincing. I know these are lies from the Father of Lies, but at the same time a lie has to suggest itself as true to have a chance of succeeding. I knew the dream was about  lies  I teeter on the edge of almost believing at times that are needing to be drained out of my spiritual ears to the last dregs as it were, in order to hear more clearly what God is speaking into my current situation and into the approaching future which is getting ever closer:  this coming weekend is officially the last weekend of my being the senior minister of Holy Trinity, in Wester Hailes, though I have been off work for almost a year.

Well, I opened my Bible this morning to read from the Book of Job where I had been reading from in recent days. I soon came across these words in Chapter 12 verse 11: “The ear tests the words it hears, just as the mouth distinguishes between foods.” (N.L.T.) I felt that was confirmation that the dream had indeed been a warning dream from the Lord. I know it shouldn’t amaze me, but it still does amaze me when confirmations like this happen. Simple things amuse (and amaze)  simple minds I guess! In fact maybe simple things SHOULD always amuse and amaze me come to think of it!

As well as being an example of Word and Spirit not being opposed but being in harmony, I am sharing this because often the enemy of our souls uses a very predictable range of weaponry against God’s children. He is subtle, but he is not a creator. So I guess I am wondering, do you need to test what you are hearing and maybe even believing? It may be you need to test what others are saying to you. It may be that you need to test things you say to yourself about yourself.

A suggestion: try and get hold of persistent thoughts about yourself that you find yourself thinking about a lot. Did that thought come from the lips of our loving heavenly Father revealed in His Son, our Saviour, Jesus Christ, as recorded in the pages of the Old and New Testaments (remember Jesus is not just in the New testament)? If so, then hold on to it with all your strength and don’t let it be stolen from you. If not, then it does not come from the Holy Spirit of truth no matter how much it tries to present itself as true.

In fact let me refine all of this a wee bit more: I hope this  doesn’t complicate things for you needlessly; I think this needs to be said too. One of the things I realised when reading Job today, is that often his so called “comforters” and friends are speaking things that in other contexts would in fact be true, but with reference to Job in his circumstances were not true. A truth at the wrong time or used in the wrong occasion or circumstances can be destructive, which at the right time would be life giving. I have actually found in this transitional time in my life, that at times people have well-meaningly quoted the Bible’s truth to me but not a truth that was relevant to my situation no matter how well intentioned. There was something missing in Job’s comforters which led to them speaking some nonsense, but also led to them speaking truth that was unhelpful and irrelevant to the moment into which  they spoke it. Perhaps it is best summed up by Job himself: “Honest words can be painful, but what do your criticisms amount to? Do you think your words are convincing when you disregard my cry of desperation.” (Job Chapter 6 verses 25-26 N.L.T.) I have to say that on some occasions the words of non-believers have been more helpful than when believers have well meaningly spoken to me in my journey through this transition time, though of course many believers have helped me as well. Just sometimes however, they have applied a truth that is not relevant to the situation. What was said seemed a bit glib, and seemed not to come from empathy. I guess in some ways this is taking me back to the theme of a previous blog about “tone.” I am more certain than ever of the tone of my Father’s voice because this last year or more. I know where I have found Him and truly heard His voice.

I wonder if someone has told you a verse of Scripture but tried to apply it wrongly to your situation? Does that sound familiar? It is what Satan did in the wilderness with Jesus. Jesus however had heard His Father’s voice. It is not beyond the realm of possibility that the enemy may have tried the same tactic on you. Is there a verse of Scripture which you have been finding gives you a level of torment since a fellow believer mentioned it to you? Of course God can convict through His Spirit and HIs Word, but conviction that is heavily tinged with strong condemnation without the offer of opportunities to repent, to receive help, to find a way on does not come from the Father of mercies revealed in Jesus Christ. Is it time for you to test a word your ears have heard? Please remember the devil is an expert at quoting the wrong scripture perfectly in any translation you care to name as  being the most true to the original text. With him, Word and Spirit do not coincide.

God bless you this day, this night and always,

Kenny

P.S. – You are very welcome to enjoy these blogs and share them with anyone “without money or price!” However, if you ever feel grateful for these blogs and are able to do so, then please make a donation to Open Doors, Scotland. Their website is

http://www.opendoorsuk.org/scotland

In case you have not heard of them, Open Doors works to help our persecuted brothers and sisters throughout the world.

Have just written to Rev. Ian MacDonald, the wonderful Associate Minister at Holy Trinity in Wester Hailes to thank him for his sermon tonight, which was top notch in every way.

Just wondering, if you were blessed in church today by a sermon you heard, did you let the person who was used to bless you know you were blessed by them? Did you say, “Thank you,” not just to  God but to the person? I can guarantee if their preaching is preaching blessed by God, telling them so will not make them big-headed. It may well just stop them from getting a common disease that attacks preachers; the Monday Blues. Here are the symptoms of that disease that a preacher, pastor, leader can experience:

1 – an intense need to scrutinise adverts for jobs to see if there are any that a B.D. is required for, followed by;

2 – a facing the fact that a B.D. is the most useless degree imaginable when it comes to job seeking, apart from your M.A. in Philosophy and Religious studies; this results in feeling you are serving a life-sentence from which there will never be clemency; no escape from this  sentence to be a preacher that is possible practically and financially up until you are of retirement Age after which living will still be financially difficult.

3 – a tiresome repetitive asking of the spouse, “But, was the sermon really ok, yesterday? You are not just saying so are you, to try and cheer me up?”

4 – despite many reassurances from the aforesaid spouse, never being reassured.

5 – the feeling that a delusion is being unmasked and you are actually the worst preacher alive.

6 – a creeping suspicion that Mrs. MacClutchbutt was right after all when she said 2 months ago, “You are the worst minister this church has ever had!”

7 – a persistent depressing thought, “Maybe I was never called to this in the first place.”

8 – a growing conviction that nobody loves me, everybody hates me.

9 – the draw to add a Masters in Hebrew to the aforesaid B.D. followed by a realisation that such a notable achievement will not greatly add to  your prospects of finding alternative employment.

Folk in the pews: I now sit there with you and want to say this to you: we have the technology to remake such preachers: the tongue in our head speaking  forth strengthening, encouraging and comforting words from the heart of the Father.

God Bless

Kenny

P.S. – You are very welcome to enjoy these blogs and share them with anyone “without money or price!” However, if you ever feel grateful for these blogs and are able to do so, then please make a donation to Open Doors, Scotland. Their website is

http://www.opendoorsuk.org/scotland

In case you have not heard of them, Open Doors works to help our persecuted brothers and sisters throughout the world.

Today I am remembering my first contact with the so called “Toronto Blessing.” I am remembering my scepticism being met with conviction of sin which was unbearable, which was followed in turn by my being flung through the air by the power of the Holy Spirit without any human hand touching me and landing, without any damage, on the ground. I lay there being deeply healed of a success driven outlook on myself and life and ministry. Jesus was bringing me into the rest of soul He promised He could give by doing what only He can do: revealing His Father to those who respond to His invitation, “Come to me.” (Matthew 11: why not make some time soon to read of Jesus explaining the process by which He leads us to rest of soul?)

Having shared that, let me issue a couple of warnings. Number 1: I don’t want to turn this blog into a debate about whether or not the Toronto Blessing was good or bad, from God or not.  That would soil  and pollute this blog and its intention with ugly things and bad smells that would linger. If you want a debate about that, there are ugly websites by the score where you can find support for your point of view one way or the other, though if you have any sensitivity to the Spirit, you may well find yourself longing to take a shower after you have read them, to get rid of a sense of slime clinging to you. As I have said before, these blogs are being written simply to share where I have found bread. Number 2: Please don’t think there is anything wrong with you, don’t be insecure, if you have not had a similar experience. I think I really needed that to happen. There are many folk who are much deeper in their experience of life in God than I am for whom such a thing has never happened.

What came to mind today though, was the reaction of a ministerial friend when I shared my experience: He said, “In the Bible folk who met with God always fell on their faces not on their backs. Evil people fall on their backs in the presence of God.” I think he misunderstood that falling on your face is what you do to hide yourself as best you can from the glory of God lest you perish. Falling on your back and being completely exposed to the eyes of God face on, unable to turn over and try and hide yourself to give yourself a chance of not perishing  is the most vulnerable place to be. I was fully clothed but  I felt completely naked in the presence of God. I was being completely undone by the Spirit of God. Would this God bless me or kill me? I was in the grip of limitless power against which I could do nothing. Fortunately limitless power had come to bring me rest in limitless love which I had never quite found. My first cry when it all happened was “Oh no!” It was followed by “At last.” Something was killed, something  did die that day: the  belief that God would love me “if” or “when” I reached a certain mark. God’s mighty spear was thrust into that lie! Hallelujah!

I know as a pastor how it is possible for me to misunderstand people and their behaviour. It is easy for me to make up a story of why someone is the way they are. Indeed sometimes I try and help a person make a story from the varied facts and experiences of their lives that they cannot make sense of by drawing all the data of their life together in a coherent way. I have become more and more cautious of doing that. I may be offering a wrong story. Sometimes there is no coherence to a life and to try and draw a thread of purpose through everything can be deeply wrong and can stop in someone’s throat the cry of pain about the irrationality of it all, the senselessness of it all, finally being released into the hands of the eternal  love of God.

Have you made up your story about your own life or someone else’s life quickly  but erroneously? The cross of Christ reminds us it is possible to do that. It was possible to look at the cross and see there a blasphemer with whom the  just judgement of God had finally caught up. Indeed according to Isaiah chapter 53 that was what the most obvious interpretation of the cross of Christ. However it was a wrong  interpretation, a wrong story. The fact is that He was being wounded for our transgressions, not His own. The punishment He was bearing was to bring us peace. His wounds were for our healing. Actually this was not a blasphemer. Has ever a story been so wrongly read? The will of God was prospering in Christ’s hands even when the blood stopped flowing from them and death came.

Be slow to make up a story of your life or anyone else’s life. Only God knows all the data. We need His revelation. Best just listen and observe until that revelation comes, if God so chooses.

A closing thought: if you are hurt because you know people have the wrong idea about “you,” have got hold of the wrong end of the story of “you,” then may you think of Calvary, may you find refuge in the love of a misunderstood Jesus. It’s not pleasant to say so, but some folk may just always misunderstand you. It’s a fact of life. Don’t waste time, perhaps many years even,  fighting that fact, or  trying to get them to see the truth. If that happens it happens, but it may not. Don’t let it  build up as anger or rage within you. Don’t let it spoil God helping you into being the “you” He created and redeemed. As believers in the Kingdom of God we know there is a day coming when “all truth shall stand revealed.” That day is not yet. Until that day, some people may always see your limp but understand nothing about the stone in your shoe. It’s just the way it is.

God Bless

Kenny

P.S. – You are very welcome to enjoy these blogs and share them with anyone “without money or price!” However, if you ever feel grateful for these blogs and are able to do so, then please make a donation to Open Doors, Scotland. Their website is

http://www.opendoorsuk.org/scotland

In case you have not heard of them, Open Doors works to help our persecuted brothers and sisters throughout the world.

I don’t really keep to many of the “rules” that those who write books and give advice on preaching say should be observed  when delivering a sermon. It is not that such books are not helpful, indeed one is pretty foolish not to take some sort of advice or at least put some thought into what makes communication effective. However, there needs to be room for individuality. I am afraid to say my preaching would not pass the mark of style snobs, who seem to see sermons as works of art.

Well, the same is true of my “poetry,” only more so. I have never studied poetry in any depth and don’t know anything about the rules for writing a poem – thought I did win a prize at school with the grand title, “The London Prize for English”! Like my sermons, they tend to be just an overflow of something I myself have come to see or realise, something that has brought life to me, especially at moments when like a hungry beggar who hasn’t managed to eat for a while, I have been longing for a fresh taste of the Bread of Life, a fresh taste of Christ. As with my sermons, I know my poems would not please those who know a thing or two about the “do’s and dont’s”  of poetry.

Well, I want to share another poem today. It was yesterday’s blog that brought it to mind. I talked in that blog about the “tone” of Jesus: how He spoke to the woman at the well, how He knocked at the door of the church in Laodicea and how He looked at Simon Peter who had just denied Him three times. It was when I wrote about  Simon Peter, I remembered that a few years ago I wrote a poem about him. I know poets are maybe not supposed to explain their works, but I am not really a poet. I just write words and rhythms that please me, just for my  personal enjoyment rather than with any thoughts of sharing the end result. However, I do want to explain the origins of this particular poem. I was sitting in the garden; it was a beautiful cool evening at the end of a beautiful  summer’s day. Suddenly a midge landed on my hand. What amazed me was that I registered something so tiny and light, that I could feel it landing on me at all. It didn’t bite me; it just landed and then took off again. Somehow or other the sheer lightness and gentleness of its touch upon my skin led to a poem about “tone,” about Jesus and Simon Peter.

The only other thing that possibly needs explanation is that in the garden that day I had been reading a wonderful book by Henry Drummond in which he used a lovely phrase, “The Gospel of The Face.” It is a wonderful phrase. In the wake of Mrs. Trump’s alleged  plagiarism, I thought it best to acknowledge that phrase is not “all my own work.”

Anyway, here it is. If you enjoy poetry, you night enjoy this, but then again maybe not. On the other hand if you don’t like poetry you might enjoy this as I don’t know if it merits being so called!

Of course having read this far you may decide you are not going to read the poem but are going to sign off right now. Well, may God bless even you, “Ya Philistine!” (explanation for those South of the border between Scotland and England or from overseas:  the pejorative use of the word “Philistine” probably needs no explanation as it is used cross culturally to imply lack of learnedness. “Ya” is one of the Glaswegian alternatives to the word “You.”  In some parts of Glasgow instead of “Ya” the alternative “Yu” is used, thus, “Yu Philistine” – pronounced phonetically (from modern Latin, “phoneticus”). It must not be pronounced with an “oo” sound, as Glaswegians are very particular about pronunciation,  so we ur, by the way. Get the pronunciation wrong and they/we might well batter “you” or more likely “battr yi.”  as in the phrase, “See me, (confusingly sometimes “see you,” pronounced with an “oo” sound), Am goiny  (“oi” as in “phone”) battr yi.” Yous (pronounced “yoos” with an “oo” sound) have been tellt, so goiny jist readit (occasionally “readut” with the phonetic pronunciation of “u” being mixed with a peculiar “i” sound and said as though the whole world is against one and treating one with gross unfairness)?

Kenny

To A Midge,  by Simon

The flying preacher has just flown on
leaving the thought of “Sense and Sensitivity.”
Your life, now over, for sure,
but your life’s work for me, done!
Your landing and leaving,
uninvited, unselfconsciously bold,
– no teeth bared
my blood spared –
Remind me of the approach of One who is of old.

I suppose you can be measured,
but in the great scheme of things
You are not sought or treasured.
A mouse inspired an affectionate ode,
and some distant cousin of yours, loathed,
was not considered beyond the artistic pale.
You have been the author of many an oath,
but a thousandth of an ounce, less or more,
You brought eternity to my skin and spirit’s shore.

You have reminded me you see,
– listen well those who speak of Heaven and of Hell –
I respond to gentle touch
– “The New Male” is not!
We have always run to hide from the breath of even,
It was softest footfall we could not bear to hear.
When spoken to in thunder I remained inert,
When warned of falling and cockerels crowing, I heard no alert,
but..lovely phrase… “The Gospel of The Face…”

No words at all, no throwing of the book,
He turned and looked…
I went and wept…

Copyright K. S. Borthwick

P.S. – You are very welcome to enjoy these blogs and share them with anyone “without money or price!” However, if you ever feel grateful for these blogs and are able to do so, then please make a donation to Open Doors, Scotland. Their website is

http://www.opendoorsuk.org/scotland

In case you have not heard of them, Open Doors works to help our persecuted brothers and sisters throughout the world.

I think my favourite story in the bible is Jesus talking with a Samaritan woman at the well of Sychar. You probably know it, but if you don’t, you can find it in John Chapter 4.

The Samaritans were despised by the Jews. However Sychar was a Samaritan town despised by the Samaritans themselves – the name probably means “drunkenness.” So in a town that was despised by the despised, Jesus talks with a woman who was despised even by Sychar: she was the despised of the despised of the despised! Did you know that she is the only individual in the gospels to whom Jesus reveals Himself as “I AM,”  as God in the flesh? I find that an amazing thought. Indeed it is such a beautiful thought I find I cannot think of it for too long. Some things are just too beautiful to look at for too long.  Jesus told us that flesh and blood, our eyes, ears, our minds and hearts , our whole being  and frame as they are now, could not dwell in the presence of God in the fullness of the Kingdom of Heaven without being changed. We could not bear the weight of His beauty.  God once touched me with overwhelming love and grace. I knew it could not last for long or I would die. I knew that at that point flesh and blood cannot inherit the Kingdom of Heaven in its final fullness! The beauty of the Lord would be too much to bear. Remember God had to hide Moses as He passed by and displayed and declared His goodness. Even God’s goodness is so extreme, the sight of it full on would kill us. We need new bodies to enjoy Him forever, and praise God we will have them one day, and be able to dwell with our God who is like  everlasting burnings. When I read John 4 and think about it, I have the sense of a prophecy from Isaiah being fulfilled at least in part: “You shall see the King in his beauty.”

I have been thinking today of the tone in Jesus voice, when Jesus said to the woman, “You have had five husbands and the man you are living with is not your husband.” He did not shirk from saying what was true, but the woman does not run away in shame; quite the opposite.  When she did run from the well, it was with huge joy and excitement to excitedly speak of Christ to those who had previously despised her and to invite them to meet Jesus too! His voice is a Saviour’s voice.

That thought made my thoughts wander to the next:  It is not a new thought to me but it came to back to the fore of my mind this afternoon. “Would you open the door to an angry knock?”  In Revelation Chapter 3 Jesus knows there is much wrong with the believers in the church of Laodicea and says so. As in John 4,  He does not shirk from saying it like it is, nor does He hide the truth of what happens when there is no willingness to repent. The emphasis though is that He is knocking  at the door, willing to come in if anyone in the Laodicean church will open the door and ask Him in. I ask again, “Would you open the door to an angry knock?” Even in the midst of tough no nonsense truth talking, Jesus knows that the people behind the door are people who need Him, who are poor, wretched, pitiable naked and blind. He comes offering salve and sight and clothing and the promise of a shared meal. The “tone” of the knock has a Saviour’s touch.

Well, let’s make it like a 3 point sermon (it’s quite a while since I preached one of those)! Jesus talking; Jesus knocking; lastly, Jesus looking. I am thinking now of the “tone” of how Jesus looked at Simon Peter after he denied Christ. Again, truth was not fudged for there was something in the tone of the look that made Peter go away and weep bitterly. We don’t help people by making out that wrong does not matter; wrong does matter, and love which keeps no score of wrongs makes a space for it to be faced up to, for love also delights in the truth. However though truth was not fudged, there must have been something about the look that spoke not of condemnation but hope, a hope confirmed by meeting with the risen Jesus, a hope that was so strong that as Christ crucified and risen stood on the shore, Peter jumped from a boat into the water to meet Him ahead of anyone else: His eyes are a Saviour’s eyes.

I guess we are talking about truth and grace, not surprisingly. All of us need Christ to save us from sin, but I am wondering if some reading this blog are needing to meet Him as the one who carries our shame away as well? It may be that for you, whoever you are, there is a point of failure or compromise or disobedience that you cannot deny but you cannot seem to get over. That event or happening or deed  holds on to you somehow in a way that other transgressions don’t. I pray that you will make space and time to let Jesus draw near as the One who never denies truth but who is full of grace. You might despise yourself for something you did. You know the blood of Christ paid for “it” whatever “it’ may be, but you despise yourself, nonetheless. Why not have a conversation with the One who spoke in truth and grace to the despised of the despised of the despised? You may think you could not cope with Christ looking into all the rooms of your life. Some rooms of course you have allowed him to clean out and redecorate, but not “that” room. Well, His arms are laden with good things He wants to bring into that room if you will allow Him in. Perhaps this is the day for bitter weeping to end and to look by faith into eyes of no condemnation; time for what has been an enduring sorrow to give way to a new morning of joy.

I am thinking of an old piano in my chiildhood home. It was a “Broadwood,” and it had the most beautiful tone of any piano I have ever heard. I had a white Yamaha piano of my own later on. It looked much more modern, indeed it was beautiful. It got damaged by the effects of mould as did my lungs. `For the sake of my lungs, it had to go; fortunately my lungs are still there, functioning well enough for me to enjoy life! I loved my Yamaha but I have to be honest and say though it had a beautiful tone too, the oldfashioned battered “Broadwood” had the edge there. Do you know what I long for in the pulpits of Scotland? Something more than biblically accurate preaching and sound teaching; something more than oratory or a stand up comic routine; something even more than a vision that I can give myself to.  Biblical truth and accuracy, accessible delivery  and something I can aim for and live out matter, but that is not what my spirit aches for when I sit in the pews, a new experience for me! I am longing for the sound of  “The Broadwood Tone!” I long for the sound of preachers who more than their abiblity to relate bible truth to modern culture, have seen the beauty of Christ; who have never forgotten it; who haven’t quite got the words to preach Christ as they would long to do and may even invent words  and write or talk long sentences like this with awkward structure,  just like Paul did in his letters,  as they try and put living , tumbling out, overflowing thoughts into some sort of communicable form… but whatever, the tone of incredible beauty  comes through: a beauty so extreme that to borrow a phrase from C.S.Lewis, it breaks and heals hearts. I long for pulpits to be filled again with “the old, old story, of Jesus and His love!”… and not just pulpits, but the streets, the mountains, the valleys, the schools, the supermarkets, the oil rigs, the opera houses and the cinemas, the hospitals, the airports, the railways stations and whatever other place you can add to the list! May it be so, Lord!

God Bless

Kenny

P.S. – You are very welcome to enjoy these blogs and share them with anyone “without money or price!” However, if you ever feel grateful for these blogs and are able to do so, then please make a donation to Open Doors, Scotland. Their website is

http://www.opendoorsuk.org/scotland

In case you have not heard of them, Open Doors works to help our persecuted brothers and sisters throughout the world.